Thursday, March 20, 2008
Bend It For Beckham
Whilst catering last night, I noticed that almost everyone in the VIP section where I was serving hors d'oeuvres was big, hulking and rude. Usually that means it's some financial firm celebrating evil's defeat of good, but '08 is not a banner year for them and in any case, these guys weren't potbellied as much as neck-less. Then I noticed David Beckham.
Officially, it was a dinner for the US Soccer Foundation, and there were pre-recorded video greetings from Presidents G. H. W. Bush and Clinton. Beckham spoke and actually gave a Lifetime Achievement Award to Pele, which was pretty cool, actually. Pele can barely speak English and is in fact still alive.
David Beckham was wearing a midnight blue suit with black shoes and a red tie. I couldn't get close enough to inspect his duds further because he was taking pictures with everyone, but the tailoring was pretty rad. He's much thinner than I thought, and not as tall (maybe 6'0"). And his voice is so boyish. His hair was shaved all around with a slight difference (maybe one guard) in length around the top; kind of stupid but he still looked good. Much better than the cornrows from 2002. The only bad thing is that you could just barely make out the odious winged cross tattoo on his lower neck. Reading his wikipedia profile, it turns out that he has a plethora of shitty, cliched, "meaningful" tattoos all over his 0% body fat body. What I did not see was his wife, the Spice Girl who can't sing and who looks like a UFO, which is good, because I want to bend it for Beckham quite badly so I might have upended a soup tureen on her.
As I was eating on the back stairwell during my break, he and his handlers walked by as the celebs usually do when they're leaving and don't want to attract notice. I'm probably paid to be discreet, but I almost started caring about sports. It wasn't quite like the time when Bill Clinton made the rounds, shaking all the waiters' and chefs' hands, but every server who's into dudes (about 95% of the women and 40% of the men) experienced some titillation when Beckham brushed our knees on his way out the door.
Incidentally, what is up with this photo, which is the first one that pops up when you google-image him?
His musculature looks painted on and reminds me of this:
Officially, it was a dinner for the US Soccer Foundation, and there were pre-recorded video greetings from Presidents G. H. W. Bush and Clinton. Beckham spoke and actually gave a Lifetime Achievement Award to Pele, which was pretty cool, actually. Pele can barely speak English and is in fact still alive.
David Beckham was wearing a midnight blue suit with black shoes and a red tie. I couldn't get close enough to inspect his duds further because he was taking pictures with everyone, but the tailoring was pretty rad. He's much thinner than I thought, and not as tall (maybe 6'0"). And his voice is so boyish. His hair was shaved all around with a slight difference (maybe one guard) in length around the top; kind of stupid but he still looked good. Much better than the cornrows from 2002. The only bad thing is that you could just barely make out the odious winged cross tattoo on his lower neck. Reading his wikipedia profile, it turns out that he has a plethora of shitty, cliched, "meaningful" tattoos all over his 0% body fat body. What I did not see was his wife, the Spice Girl who can't sing and who looks like a UFO, which is good, because I want to bend it for Beckham quite badly so I might have upended a soup tureen on her.
As I was eating on the back stairwell during my break, he and his handlers walked by as the celebs usually do when they're leaving and don't want to attract notice. I'm probably paid to be discreet, but I almost started caring about sports. It wasn't quite like the time when Bill Clinton made the rounds, shaking all the waiters' and chefs' hands, but every server who's into dudes (about 95% of the women and 40% of the men) experienced some titillation when Beckham brushed our knees on his way out the door.
Incidentally, what is up with this photo, which is the first one that pops up when you google-image him?
His musculature looks painted on and reminds me of this:
